A thought provoking and hopefully humorous look at Taxes...plus,
a few ideas to save on taxes where you can.
(Not all ideas apply to all counties and states)
You wake up in the morning and ‘fore your feet hit the floor,
You’ve started paying taxes, more and more and more.
You pull the covers up to your neck,
Yep, you guessed it, the gas company adds taxes to your check.
You slap the alarm clock to invoke the snooze
You’ve also paid the taxes on the ‘lectric, again you lose.
Alas, you finally crawl out of bed
And yes that is right, the thing that you dread.
Property taxes are paid on your abode
But finally a chance to save a little dough.
Make sure your homestead exemption is in place
And if you’re over 62 you just might get another break.
Then to the shower you do fly,
Turn on the water and you guessed it, more taxes, but why?
The water you use contains hidden fees
A revenue source for the county, think of that the next time you...,
well never mind.
Next on to coffee and you take a big swig with a grin,
No taxes here you think for a min.
But wait, oh where these grounds did you buy,
Oh yes the grocery store, darn once again you’ve been fried.
Sales tax is most often paid where things are bought,
So if it’s lower taxes you seek, think of where, what is sought.
For larger purchases you can save a percent or two
Just by buying in a county that’s lower for you.
Turn off the lights and turn down the heat,
You can see these taxes are quite a feat.
Now into your car you do go,
And yes, once here, there you know.
You paid sales taxes on the purchase price
They are always taking a slice.
Make the slice smaller by trading in an old clunker
Will mean less tax on your new junker.
Ad valorem taxes are an annual thing
you must write a check for, as, “Happy Birthday” they sing.
How to save here, not much you can salvage
Just drive your cars longer to lower the value.
And on to work you do hurry,
More money goes flying out in a flurry.
For at the gas pump, you do stop
And what is added with every drop.
Yep, you guessed it again,
All these taxes are starting to make your head spin.
The taxes on diesel are different you know,
From the regular gas taxes we use to go.
So if you are deciding which car to buy,
This is another tax to add to the pie.
The tires on the car bring yet more fun,
an excise tax on the rubber and we are still not done.
You ease into traffic and what does await
But a toll booth with a long stretching gate,
Several quarters do call if you wish to pass,
You suddenly feel like you’ve been kicked in the…,
well never mind.
Your cell phone is ringing, don’t answer it yet,
Because as you do, yep, it’s yet another check.
Excise taxes on phone calls you see
Is just yet another way to make you bleed.
And what can you do to avoid such fees,
Nothing ‘cept ignore that little buzzing bee.
You make it to work and are filled with dread
All these taxes are quickly filling your head.
But wait you smile and your knees grow week
For you remember its payday, a grin from cheek to cheek.
You tear open the stub and drop like a thud
For the taxman has taken yet one more snub.
Medicare and FICA, the thieves that they are
Like being assaulted and who said there’s no scar.
If you think the Feds are good stewards of your money,
That will make most laugh as that is really funny.
You can’t count on social security
to provide you with stability.
Retirement planning for everyone is desperately needed,
So why do so many wait for their IRA plans to be seeded.
A hole in your pocket this does feel,
But wait, that isn’t even all of the deal.
The Feds and the state really make you swoon
You give and you give and there is just no more room.
And your boss stops by with more sad news
More and more taxes are added to his muse.
For the business owner, taxes really mount,
Inventory taxes and business licenses surmount.
How does he manage these mounting bills?
Not much to do but head for the hills.
On the way home you want to relax,
you stop at the tanning bed, for yet another tax.
That’s right the health care bill did bring,
Another tax for indoor tanning.
So maybe a getaway to a place with beaches and sand
Is what you need as an alternate plan,
Taxes on the plane tickets, hotel and rental car,
Won’t leave you with much, you better not go far.
Maybe it is time to drown your sorrows,
With a good bottle from St. Marlowe,
But wait, not even in a cold beverage can you partake
Without the taxman adding to the take.
Some might think this a good idea to give them the lick.
Stop, you can not take it anymore,
You suddenly feel on death’s door,
How can you possibly keep going on,
With all and all that the government has piled on?
So if you think that death will bring
The final song the fat lady will sing.
Think again for as you know,
Even in death, taxes are in tow.
Estate taxes are charged on what you leave,
No where to run, no quiet reprieve.
Most think that they have little to their estate,
But adding life insurance, homes and businesses to the gate,
Add up faster than most feel it does
A good tax plan is needed because,
You have worked hard every day of your life,
Being a good father, mother, husband or wife.
To leave your children and other kin with no plan
Won’t leave them saying “You da man.”
So get your assets organized,
And make a plan for your demise.
The estate tax rates are gigantic
They can sink a ship just like the titanic.
For those who’ve heard it know it’s right.
Death and taxes are always a fright.
So as I leave you with one final thought,
Think about each and every thing that you’ve bought.
At the end of the day, is it just what you need,
Or is saving for the future a better seed.
Go forth and prosper and take this to heart,
The less you pay in taxes, the more you’ll make your mark.
© 2010 Diana Crawford.
TAX SAVINGS
Crawford, Merritt
& Company
Certified Public Accountants
770-972-6393
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